Welcome!
Welcome to my blog- this is where I record my thoughts, dreams, plans, and goings-on, whenever or if-ever I want to. I wanted to create an internet home-base to return to, much in the style of tumblr-blogging back in the day but more self-contained. I found the busyness and noise of social media too overwhelming, and got tired of constantly being sold or sold to. So I created this personal writing oasis to house whatever I want to share of myself. I’ve always been inclined to write and wanted to maintain an outlet for that practice without confining it to Instagram captions or hiding it exclusively away in journals. Welcome! Read along as I get this place started, or don’t. Either way, I’m happy you stopped by.
Hello! I’m a 27-year old woman living in Seattle, Washington. Here, I’ll be writing about topics ranging from current events, social issues, reflections on therapy and my own life, politics (I do have a degree in international relations, after all), maybe book reviews as I work through my very long TBR, to updates on my hobbies, the new music I’m listening to, and updates to my personal style- among other things.
Thanks for being here!
About Me
My most recent post:
The personal project of perfection
More of my life than I’d like to admit has been spent trying to figure out to attain perfection. It wasn’t phrased as or sold to me in that packaging, though. It came in the way of diets and beauty products, books and groups, fitness regimes and journaling prompts. There was constantly another new thing on the horizon, tantalizingly offering itself as a solution to a problem I hadn’t yet known I had. Somehow, my life became a type of permanent improvement project, and I was on a wilderness expedition to constantly suss out and eliminate whatever else I found wrong with me. It was a story that started younger than I can remember. I don’t think I’m the only one.
There was a perfect storm or an unfortunate soup of factors that led to that reality for me (and maybe for you too): growing up evangelical in a community with fundamentalist leanings, the idea that the soul could approach near-perfection through doctrinal purity and correct outward behavior was forever lingering in the background. The recitation of verses, unquestioning devotion to the right beliefs, endless consumption of Christian media, and appropriately monitored hemlines and hearts were the path forward, and absolutely, constantly necessary. The perpetual self-flaggelation required to reinforce that view came first, though. Nothing motivates the breathless search for the secret sauce of salvation quite like the fear that if you don’t, you’ll either miss something amazing or you’ll be sent downstairs to be tortured in perpetuity.
In the world outside, unfortunately, things weren’t much better. It’s a bit of a chicken-and-egg dilemma when it comes to the culture’s obsession with becoming “the best version of ourselves we can possibly be”. Combine the so-called Protestant work ethic with the endless pit of hunger that is colonization, and the conditions were born for unfettered capitalism to unhinge its wide maw around every aspect of life. We are nowadays surrounded by a “secular” forever improvement-oriented culture, spurring a fervor of new and flashy products and courses to give perfect complexions and perfect careers. Promises of being able to attain things as tangible as sportscars and a fat bank account get muddled with the more esoteric: love, respect, and power. And of course, these are understood as the natural rewards waiting for those who deserve it. To be good is to work and to have the evidence of success in your hands. In the words of Britney Spears, you better work, bitch.
